Don’t Stay There!

What a year it has been for us all! In some way, shape, or form, everyone’s life has been affected. I could create a list of the many things that were bad about this year, but I have a choice, we all do. I am not insensitive to the fear, anxiety, pain, and loss this year has brought for so many people. I always say we must face our emotions and situations head on, we can’t ignore them. However, we must learn to get to a place where we don’t stay there! This choice has more to do with our minds than our circumstance most of the time. I say this from a place of understanding depression, rejection, betrayal, suicidal thoughts, so on and so forth. What I’ve learned over the years is that I am not my feelings and I am not my thoughts. There is so much freedom just in that alone, when we are able to differentiate our thoughts and emotions from our identity!

This same time last year, my mind was a war zone! And in 2020 I had to make a choice to not stay there! The bible tells us in Philippians 4:13, that we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength. We love to quote it, but do we believe it? In March of 2020, I made a choice to let go and move on from my year and a half mess! Something about me, maybe it’s a woman thing in general. I can hold on for so long, I can stick around and endure, but once I’ve made up my mind to move on nothing is stopping me! What used to take me years only took me months! I know the devil was angry because his biggest tactic against me my whole life was figured out. I came out victorious! Praise God! This is not to say that it was easy, it was a HOT MESS! I’m just always going to be real and transparent because that’s what we need in such a filtered and fake society (sorry not sorry). I’m guilty of it myself! I only post the happy moments on Instagram, only the pretty pictures, only the part of my life I want the world to see. But in my blogs, you’ll get all of me, the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly! This process for me was full of tears, anger, bitterness, pain, frustration, loneliness, anxiety, I mean the whole package you simply don’t want! I spoke to God and shared my heart with him so much in those months. I didn’t have nice words, I didn’t have pretty prayers, or declarations and decrees, it was just a transparent heart that needed her heavenly father. That’s what I love about God, and what drew me to Him in February of 2013. He knows me, He gets me, He understands me, and even in my mess I can always cry out to Him and He will listen.

I want to share with you a tip/ strategy that has helped me this year and I believe can help anyone. Drum roll…..give yourself a timeframe to “be down.” It may sound silly but its works and maybe it can help you too. Life will always happen, and one thing is certain and that is change. It’s simply not always in the way we’d like either. Resilience just has to become second nature to us, or we will drown in the storms of life. I want to be realistic, giving yourself a timeframe is not a one size fits all. Different situations require different amounts of time and healing. I am not referring to life events that literally alter the course of your life, take your time and heal! I am referring to the betrayals, the breakups, the disappointments, the bad day, the argument, the things in life that consume us for far longer than they should. There’s a quote I see a lot online that reads, “If it wont matter in 5 years, then don’t waste more than 5 minutes worrying about it.” I don’t think this quote is applicable to all, but I like the meaning behind it. In other words, don’t allow yourself to be bothered, stressed, hurt, sad, depressed, anxious, or anything else longer than its worth or warranted. Sometimes we allow ourselves to go into such a whirlwind of negative thoughts and emotions and what should’ve only lasted 2 weeks turns into 2 years. Identify your triggers! I wish I could say I’m not easily triggered but can I just be honest I AM! There are very specific things that trigger me and if I don’t stop the whirlwind, I will be a HOT mess. How do I counteract it? I give myself a timeframe, I allow myself time to feel but I don’t stay there. Why? Because I refuse to let my emotions dictate my life and how long I will feel down. It took too many years to get to this place to let things take me out of it. I must remind myself of this when I am triggered. Do that for yourself! I want to leave you with 2 scriptures that I hold onto when my mind gets the best of me and honestly it’s more often that I’d like to admit. But hey embrace your battle, God gave you the armor to be able to fight it!  Philippians 4:8 tell us,

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

I know this is such a self-explanatory scripture, but do you know how much I think about lies! We all do. How many times are our minds filled with assumptions, our own scenarios, the what if’s, and all things that aren’t true. Step 1, when you are in a mental battle, remember to only think about what is true! What you don’t have the answers to, don’t assume! I know its hard but train your mind to only think about what you know to be TRUE! It can be painful but let it be true. Let’s read one more scripture. Romans 8:28 tells us,

 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Step 2 is as follows. For the answers you don’t have, for the questions in your mind, for the things you can wander and conclude till you make yourself crazy, DON’T! Recite this scripture, remind yourself what the word of the Lord says. All things work together for good. That does not mean everything is going to feel good, look good, but the Lord says it will all work together for good. When we feel we can’t trace God, we trust God. When we don’t know all the answers, we trust God. When we feel like life is going opposite of what He said, we trust Him.

I pray that this will be of a help for you. I’ll leave you with this. You are not your emotions, you are not your circumstance, you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggle, you are not your sin, you are not what happened to you. You are a child of the Most High, You are royalty, You are victorious, You are powerful, You are loved, You are chosen, You have purpose!

With Love,

Kristen ♥


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