Last month was great! I was excited again, I had something to look forward to, something new. But as quickly as it came it went. I can’t stand that! Transparent moment, I really don’t get my hopes up too high with certain things because I don’t like feeling disappointed. For me, its not even the situations or people, it’s just the feeling of something not happening for me again! I feel like I’m last for so much. Some things are my fault and some are out of my control. But that feeling of just not being where you want can be so frustrating. Where we want to be looks different for everyone. Some want the house, others a new position at work, maybe its marriage, or you are desiring a child, or simply to travel more. There really is no right or wrong to this, but we can all share the commonality of wanting to be somewhere or wanting something that is not. Life can be a struggle, it tends to be a roller coaster ride, filled with ups and downs. For me, it feels more down than up a lot of times. Whether it be emotionally, financially, educational goals, relationships, so on and so fourth. Many times I wonder what am I doing wrong! The bible says that God withholds no good thing from us (Psalm 84:11) so I wonder if its just a timing thing. Maybe that’s the answer. We simply haven’t reached the timing of where we desire to be. I cant stand that answer if I’m honest.
Yesterday when I was walking home from work, I had my headphones on, sounding out the world with worship music. During this walk home I’m thinking to myself how I feel so behind in so many areas, how I feel I’m always last, and just all these thoughts. All of a sudden a different thought came to my mind, a word from the Holy Spirit I think and it said, “You are behind on your timetable, you are not behind on God’s, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be on the Lord’s timetable.” Wow! I felt such a peace after that. Why do you and I forget that God is in total control and seated on the throne. Why do you and I sometimes think we are so powerful that we can truly stop what God wants to do. Yes I’m a firm believer that we can delay things because of our obedience and lack there of. However, in the larger scheme of things, when looking at the whole picture, He will do exactly what it is that He wants to do and no man can stop it. I decided this year to no longer allow people or myself to blame me for things that are not my fault. I’ve come to accept the fact that everything is in His timing. I took the blame off of me, and that in itself lifted such a burden. God does and will restore the years lost or the time that felt like a waste. I love this scripture, “And I will compensate you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” (Joel 2:25 AMP). He is a restorer and that includes of time! Time is the one thing we can never get back, and my God how much time I feel like I wasted on drama, people, depression, anxiety, pain, the list feels never-ending. However, you and I must decide to take peace in knowing He will restore the years, but you and I must choose to stop wasting the time we have moving forward. I simply want to share what I was reminded of yesterday, you are behind on your timetable, but not God’s. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t walk around downcast. Lets enjoy this journey and take confidence and faith in the fact that He is faithful and in total control of our lives STILL!